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Here it comes—the behemoth that lurks in the dark, prompting you to look over your shoulder, a cold sweat dripping down your neck. Your breath quickens as you pick up your pace—but no matter how fast you go, it’s still just behind you. It’s the one admissions essay to rule them all: the dreaded Common App Essay!
For those of you who are late (or early) to the party, the Common Application Essay is a 650-word statement that serves as your calling card for the majority of the colleges to which you’ll apply. With seven prompts, you have lots of options to pick from for telling your unique story. If you haven’t yet gotten started, take a look at our Common App Essay Prompts Guide and we’ll shepherd you through the entire process. But if you’re reading this article, then you probably already have a draft that is just great! Well…good. It’s fine. All right, maybe it needs some help.
Fear not, we at CEA are here for you! Read on to discover common pitfalls of writing Common App essays, advice on how to make your essay unique, and examples of good essays that became great ones.
If you can’t figure out why your essay is giving “meh,” use our handy checklist below to see where you might be falling short:
Have you fallen into one (or all) of these traps? You’re certainly not alone. We at CEA have advised hundreds of students on crafting winning Common App essays and can’t wait to share our knowledge with you.
Your job (if you choose to accept it) is to draft an essay that humanizes your application. What is it like to talk to you IRL? What excites you? What unique background, experiences, or qualities have shaped who you are today? Showcase your ability to reflect on an aspect of your life and what it has meant to you.
The best college essays leave admissions officers feeling like they have a sense of what it would be like to talk with you and can envision the kind of student you’d be on their campus. Stand-out essays are so personal and specific that no one else could slap their name on your essay and call it their own.
Okay, enough pontificating—let’s get to some examples!
ORIGINAL:
When your father doesn’t have any toes on his left foot, the question of why is bound to come up. The first time I heard the real reason was this past summer. For as long as I remember, Dad had been telling me he couldn’t afford warm enough boots for a mountain climbing expedition he went on and lost his toes to frostbite. While that may have been part of the reason, like so many things that pass between me and my father it was not the whole truth.
FINAL:
Most people have ten toes, but my dad only has five. When I was young, he told me he lost the digits on his left foot while climbing Aconcagua in 1982 because he couldn’t afford warm mountaineering boots. While that may have been part of the reason, like many things between my dad and me, it wasn’t the whole truth.
While these two paragraphs have a lot in common—as they should! They were written by the same student—they differ in several important ways. It’s common for students to over-write or over-explain, as this student did in the first two sentences. “The question of why is bound to come up” and “The first time I heard the real reason this past summer” are phrases that do not advance the point of the story while taking up valuable space in a document with a limited word count. By trimming this fat, we get a punchier, more exciting opening that shocks and intrigues the reader.
Second, the student included specific details about his father’s climb, citing the foot, the year, and the place, which helps situate the reader: The father didn’t lose the toes recently, it was a long time ago on a treacherous climb in a foreign country. We condense “warm enough boots for a mountain climbing expedition” to “warm mountaineering boots,” which keeps the focus on the lost toes.
The revision is both more succinct and more detailed, drawing the reader in immediately and highlighting the fraught relationship between father and child.
ORIGINAL:
My father was trying to avoid trying to become like his own dad – but he just made different mistakes. I am like my dad (in many ways), but I am going to elect to approach these challenges in my life differently. There are a thousand little mistakes I make – I have practiced this in the gym – I have climbed the mountain. I put my hand in the wrong place, but I stick with it, try to figure out what I did wrong and do better. It’s not black and white – not failure and success – the real value lies in the gray area.
Being okay with making mistakes and your own imperfections, for me, equals success.
FINAL:
Unlike my father, through mountaineering I’ve learned to overcome obstacles and embrace failure. I challenge myself not because I have anything to prove, but because I want to know my own limits and test them. I now realize that when my father tried to avoid becoming like his own dad, he only succeeded in making different mistakes that created a similar chasm between him and the rest of his family. In some ways, I am a reflection of my father: in my interests and certain qualities of which I am proud. But it’s not all or nothing. I can take the good and leave the bad. Because life is not black and white, or failure and success. The real value lies in the gray areas.
Since we started the Common App essay talking about the relationship between father and child, it’s appropriate to return to that here at the end. The first draft, however, focuses on the father and his father (the writer’s grandfather) while the revision redirects the focus on the essay writer and his father. The final version describes positive attributes that are both “unlike my father” and “like my father,” fully illustrating the idea that the writer can take or leave whatever they wish. This also shows how the writer has come to grips with his father and their relationship, turning a story about his dad’s unusual toes into a story about the writer’s maturation and reflection on his father’s place in his own life.
Notably, the original draft has a lot of dashes in it, which impede the flow of prose. The revision takes all those same ideas and restructures them into a clear narrative that culminates in a poignant statement: “…life is not black and white, or failure and success. The real value lies in the gray areas.” This ending is both a clear conclusion of what came before and a philosophical statement that reflects the author’s mature perspective.
Essay 1:
Every time I step onto the ice, my goal is to make people doubt their eyesight. This is slightly ironic, given that I have wanted to be an ophthalmologist since I was five. Still, when my body is in perfect formation, engaged in endless rotation in the middle of the rink, I want people to ask themselves, “Is she really doing that?”
From a young age, I have also wanted to figure skate, executing motions so complex and graceful, they seem like optical illusions. A dozen years and thousands of hours of practice later, I now take to the ice to accomplish feats of physical magic, trying to make things look easy when they are most definitely not.
…
I have come to learn that there is no shortcut to mastering a new challenge, no illusion that will make me a better skater or violinist or counselor. True improvement and achievement requires patience, diligence, and teamwork. It demands time and, often, a fair amount of courage. Still, when I get on the ice and spin effortlessly with my leg in the air, or complete a routine in which nine other girls and I manage to skate in perfect harmony, it feels a lot like magic.
Essay 2:
When I first put my foot in an ice skate, I assumed it would eventually stop hurting. I certainly wasn’t going to let it stop me from trying to execute a swizzle. I was positioned with my skates in a V-shape on the ice, heels touching. With the weight of my body angled slightly forward, I pushed my feet out and then drove them together again, sliding on the outside of my blades to successfully complete the maneuver. It was exhilarating to feel so graceful. I barely noticed the throbbing in my right boot. Three years later, I would finally reveal my injury to my coach, telling her about the accident that left my foot badly burned. But in those first few years, I was intent on gliding along the ice, holding myself to the same physical expectations as my peers, without anyone trying to tell me I couldn’t achieve my goals.
…
Over the years, I have learned that freedom and power comes from following my dreams, despite the challenges I may face. I look forward to helping others overcome any barriers, physical or otherwise, that get in their way. Today, if I met another girl like me, with an injured foot and the desire to one day complete a toe loop or a salchow, I would undoubtedly encourage her to put on her skates, start with a swizzle, and glide towards a future that excites her.
Both of these Common App essay examples cover ice skating and how that sport relates to each essay writer’s other hobbies, qualities, and life goals. Each one describes ice skating moves and explains the discipline and determination it takes to succeed at a demanding sport. However, these essay writers could not swap essays and pass them off as their own; each essay approaches the topic from a truly unique angle.
In Essay 1, the writer starts off by weaving her interest in ophthalmology into her description of skating. By the end of the essay, she has mentioned playing violin, working as a camp counselor, and skating with a team as well, twining all of these interests around her central theme of hard work and magic.
In Essay 2, the writer describes the physical sensation of skating on an injured foot while showing how she has persevered when others said she couldn’t. In her essay, she talks about her journey to overcome her injury and how ice skating played a pivotal role, ending with an inspiring description of guiding others in her footsteps.
As you approach a hobby, interest, or activity that many others will write about, think about your own unique relationship to it; what does it mean to you? How does your accomplishment in this realm reflect your personal values, growth, and ambition? Who helped you get there? How does this activity connect to your other, unrelated interests? Whether you write about playing soccer or building a rocket ship, you must include personal anecdotes, feelings, and details that only you could bring to your essay.
EXAMPLE:
I do my math homework in pen. A Bic Cristal Xtra Smooth ballpoint to be exact. It glides across the page as I work out complex algorithms and differential equations, the numbers coming to life in ink before my eyes. I solve for trig equations in blue, and graph the derivative with confidence, knowing that the writing will be permanent. My hand works out the solvable mysteries of mathematics on the page.
But for all my assertiveness in math, I write my English papers in pencil. This time, it’s my lucky teal-blue mechanical pencil with the rubber grip that creates a callous on my finger. In my search for the ideal word to describe the wealth in The Great Gatsby —“opulent”—or the lifestyle of the Walls family in The Glass Castle—“nomadic”—I reserve the right to erase. With pencil in hand, I feel free to scribble out themes, ideas about character, and overarching messages of the books I read because I know there will be room for revision. I can test out my theories on style, clean up my notes when necessary, and make my descriptions more and more accurate since pencil is only temporary.
Unlike some of our earlier college essay examples, with active beginnings about mountain climbing and ice skating, this essay draws the reader in through its keen focus on something small and everyday, bringing these normal objects to life in a new way. Anyone could write that they prefer pens or pencils, but this author delves into the details about their writing implements and their feelings while using them, employing descriptive language to paint a picture of the different tasks they’re accomplishing with pen and pencil.
If you feel your topic is lackluster, try focusing on a smaller part of your story and teasing out all the details. Describe something common that you use, do, say, or interact with, and see how that illustration relates to your larger topic. Often, you’ll uncover connections you hadn’t considered before that can give you a new angle as you work on your draft.
It’s often helpful to have an outside perspective as you work through your essays. Ask parents, mentors, friends, and experts (like us!) to read your essays to see whether they’re compelling, authentic to you, and reflective of your positive attributes. And as always, we at CEA offer one-on-one coaching to help you turn your good ideas into great essays.
